I am a body-oriented woman in that I receive insights and feel experiences through my body. The most recent dramatic example was two years ago when my thirty-eight-year-old daughter had her first (and only) baby. My daughter has a learning challenge. After she gave birth, she needed coaching in nursing her baby. I was with her five days in a row trying to instruct, guide and support her. My own body started reacting to the intimacy and necessity of the circumstances . Everything that happens to a woman when she is a new mother preparing to nurse her baby, started happening in my body. I had gone through menopause a few years before this. So when my breasts became swollen and tender, I thought Oh my God, this is awful! I, of course, left the nursing to my daughter (who soon thereafter opted for bottle-feeding)…but my body was preparing to nurse. I live a long distance away and once I returned home, it took two weeks for my body to return to normal. I perceive things with my whole body not just my head.
Hearing this, Daniel admitted to not being in his body. “If you’re cut off from your feelings, you’re cut off from your body,” he said.
Daniel: I want to say this, not to change your mind. We don’t feel through our bodies. I know you think that you do, but you don’t! Our bodies are primarily vehicles of action. It’s all in our psyche.
Me: Do you think that’s more true of men than women?
Daniel: “No,” he said emphatically. “I think it’s a basic fact.”
I was beginning to doubt myself, my own experience. I ruminated “I don’t know,” I said with some hesitation.
Daniel: We have not so much a personality. People think the personality is in their body…personality is on an etheric plane and the body is a representation of the consciousness of the psyche.
Me: I think personality is the face that you bring into the world to meet other people. It’s the face we show to others. I perceive the psyche as deeper, soulful. I think the experiences of the body influence the psyche. My body has informed me of things.
Daniel called this persona. He’s referring to the Vitvan (his spiritual teacher’s) sense of things.
Words can confound. It is hard to have clarity when we have differing definitions for the same words. How we individually define words, our deeply-held perspectives that are expressed through fallible words, can cloud what one says and how another hears it. And, yes, we can be triggered when there isn’t a meeting of the minds and not even realize it. We hit a wall and it was so noted. Do we stop here or go forward?
Agreeing to disagree?
I won’t be talked out of what I know from my own experience. My own experience is not hearsay or something I’ve read. My own experience is firsthand. And I know that my body gives me information. It tells me when I feel threatened; it has its own wisdom; it shares deep truth with me when I am tuned into it. When I mentioned to three women during a conversation yesterday that Daniel had dismissed the experience of my body as being a reliable source of information, they nearly fell out of their chairs! So, it’s not only me who senses through her body.
Then, Daniel repeats that we’re not in our bodies…”the false premise is that you think you’re in your body…it’s almost like a robot…”Daniel walk across the room, pick up this thing…”
Me: I feel different as a woman. I feel that my body is a guiding force and that it informs me when I listen. Because of my body I feel very connected to the earth. I notice how much that connection nourishes my physical form and all of the other parts of me as well. I could say that everything is ethereal or illusion in some way, but there is a solidness in my connection to the earth.
Suddenly, Daniel gets it. He seems to understand where I’m coming from.
Daniel: Yes, yes this is good stuff…it’s the fact of the World Mother again! Substance. I’m a male–mind, mind is not body per se. You’re going to think along the lines of your intrinsic nature which is the World Mother.