Infinity (and beyond)

A few years ago, I took an online course on the Hindu Wisdom Goddesses. One of these Goddesses, Bhuvaneshwari by name, creates worlds. And worlds within worlds. An infinity of worlds. Perhaps she stitches or weaves them. As in this painting. And then, maybe she flings them off into the vast universe(s). What are they going to become?

I like the image of this…that some great Goddess is out there constantly creating worlds. It’s as if she’s stretching her wild imagination to engage yet another possibility. Isn’t that what we’re being called to do now. In this time of Covid Virus, social unrest, political upheaval, planetary degradation–how can we recreate the world? How can we recreate ourselves in this current world? We have an opportunity. When there is chaos, there is expanded possibility.

I was listening to a speaker yesterday…his name is Bayo Akomolafe. Bayo is a wise thinker and activist for our times. I liked this line, this idea, his suggestion:

“Let’s stay with the trouble of our becoming. Let’s see what that does to us.”

I appreciate this thought because I notice how I, we, anyone wants things to return to “normal.” To settle down and actually go backwards into what was, but no longer is.
To find an escape of some sort so we don’t have to deal with what is happening right now. However, if we can stay with the trouble of our becoming, perhaps there is hope for something beyond that, some growth spurt of oneself and then the exponential factor can come into play–the growth spurt of many. I hope so.

Following is a five-minute video clip of Bayo Akomolafe speaking on the “cultural myth that sets up man as central to the universe…” I appreciate his way of perceiving and thinking outside of the boxes that we’ve accepted as the way it is. I like to stretch my mind to think more broadly and to be more inclusive.

I hope that you take time to listen to this and let me hear what you think.

The Dive

A couple of years ago, I was invited by a local art gallery to preview an art exhibit, choose a painting and write a poem referencing that painting. The painting that spoke to me was of an adolescent girl wearing a swimsuit, standing at the end of a diving board, preparing to dive. Her body looked rigid, almost like the diving board itself. Shoulders were raised nearly to her ears; her mouth was tense and straight. Below is the poem I wrote.

I am not there to read this poem to you. I’d like you to read it quietly once. And then, read it aloud to yourself or to someone else. Feel the poem. Pretend that you are the diver.

The Dive
©by Christine O’Brien

Feet plugged into the
sticky resin springboard,
I note the space between me and
the crushing water below.
The form I hold.
Buddha stillness.
The grace I invoke
as I design form
gliding through space.
The breath I hold.
The breath I take
like thunder in a canyon
fills my ears.
The shadow of fear
remains at the other end
of the platform
while I stand on the edge
in focused repose.

This is not my first dive
though my raised shoulders,
clamped mouth and clenched jaw
could be interpreted as fear.
There is always that
but with prayer and practice
it quickly transforms
as there is no turning back now.
The dive grooms the diver
in this conspiracy of grace, form and space.
Originally, it was a dare from friends
that sent me up the hot aluminum ladder
on that sweaty summer day.
Now, it’s a drive from within,
not towards perfection
or for judges’ scores.
There is no competition.

It is the ecstasy of flight
that sends me to this precipice.
Neither bird nor stone falling through space,
I am a wingless angel
who rejoices in
those few seconds of airtime.
Body imprinting space
air molecules conforming, buoyant.
I visualize the flex, fold, arc,
the straightening as
I neatly incise the water with my hands,
barely a splash.
I surface a few feet away,
victorious,
a different sort of Phoenix rising.

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And then I made my own painting of another sort of dive by another sort of creature.

card27

Water, Water Everywhere…

Water,Water Everywhere

She does look a bit parched, doesn’t she? This painting was exhibited in a local art show with the theme of WATER. Water–not that long ago, living in San Francisco, we could drink tap water. Bottled water was unheard of. Now it’s commonplace.

Rather than root out and respond to the cause of impurities in our water, we bottle and ship water from sources that we hope are not contaminated. We buy water!

I notice how we adapt to the changing circumstances that are caused by our improper use of the earth.

The way that we extract resources–detrimental to the earth and the inhabitants of that land.

The way that we dispose of waste…detrimental to the land and sea and its inhabitants.

The way we package products–detrimental to our health and the environment.

The way we ship products long distances–detrimental to air quality.

What is causing cancer rates to increase? What is it in our external environment that contributes to this? The way we eat, drink, the contaminants in our food, our clothing, the air?

STOP! When do we begin to reverse what we’ve discovered is messing up our environment. What animal trashes home the way that humans do?

As we tamper with our ecosystems, there is going to be less potable water and more saltwater, undrinkable. I don’t understand the science of it…but things are heading in that direction. Neither do I know the timeframe. That premise is what informed this painting. It doesn’t have to be this way…but it’s not going to change until human beings gather and stand together to change things for the better.

Earth wants to work with us. Let’s not ignore the call.

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A few years ago, I watched a full-length video (it’s about twenty-one minutes long) on The Story of Stuff as presented by Annie Leonard. Following is a two-minute segment that begins to give you an idea of how we make, distribute, use and dispose of stuff. If you are interested in seeing the entire video, you can find it on YouTube. I highly recommend it.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.

Try Something New

landscapea

Being an artist who is committed to growth, it helps to try something new and different. In this painting, I completely surrendered to Nicole Wikman’s process to paint a landscape. I love the outcome. Although it isn’t my style, I learned several very helpful techniques that I can apply elsewhere.

She reiterates the value of a horizon line. She has a unique technique of laying down a colorful sky. The brush dances between colors in the sky to reflections of those colors in the water. The way in which the land and trees are placed establishes perspective and lends depth to the painting. These are valuable techniques to practice and learn.

That said, I love this piece, and it doesn’t feel like me.

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Land and Sea are big themes for artists. A contemporary artist, Janette Kerr is known as the “foul weather” painter. It seems that she spends weeks on boats heading into storms. There are so-called adrenaline junkies out there and while I’m not one, I applaud the curious nature that leads one into the eye of the storm. Her work is phenomenal!

A Mythic Meaning

She Rises1

This painting (not finished yet) was all about exploration. I used a liquid masking fluid, played with creating a pool of water. A Goddess (with uneven eyes) rising from the depths. Symbolism. A waterfall cave behind her face. Her hair, a trellis for a climbing vine. A butterfly above her eyebrow. What’s it all mean?

One of these days, when I’m called to, I’ll return to it. To see where it wants to go next. For now, it sits behind my sofa in a suspended state.

It seems that artists have a lot of unfinished paintings. I’m not the only one. We reach a point of impasse with a piece. I’m not sure why. The question “Where do I go from here?” hovers in an air of suspense. Because we just don’t know.

Being comfortable with the unknown is actually a great quality to have. The other day, I was not happy with the state of affairs in the world. Whether the virus or politics or human behavior, geez. I walked down a road I don’t normally walk down. Out of nowhere, my cellphone in my fanny pack began playing a song from the film, Frozen. I don’t know how that song got on my phone!! The words “I’m afraid of what I’m risking if I follow you into the unknown…” played loud and clear. These words reflected what I was feeling about leaning into the uncertainty of life in these challenging times in which we are living.

Then, I rounded a curve in the road and someone had written graffiti on a metal gate…
it read “Normalcy is a paved road. It’s comfortable to walk but no flowers grow on it.”

These two timely messages from the universe shifted my feelings from uncertainty and fear to a sense that I was being (we are being) looked after in ways that we can’t imagine. That there is something beyond what we can see that is working with us. And that it wants us to be aware of its presence, its offer to assist us.
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Idina Menzel singing “Into the Unknown” at the Academy Awards.

She Looks Upon the Land

I live in the forested mountains of Northern California. It is nearing the Fourth of July. When it’s not a time of Covid, we have a huge influx of tourists (around 3,000 people) to celebrate the holiday. It’s been fun in the past. However, due to the virus, the event was cancelled. Honestly, it’s a relief for many reasons. One being, the long term drought in California. The tinder-dry forested area isn’t a place for fireworks. (It’s hard to believe that they allow fireworks in such an area!)

A few days ago, when I noticed the Safe and Sane Fireworks Booth going up by the local supermarket, I felt myself tense up. Honestly, I cannot believe that a mountainous area would ever sell fireworks and permit their use. This shows a great disconnect. We’ve had several years where we’ve been living on pins and needles as forest fires have encroached. We’ve lived with months of intense smoke that obliterated the usual pristine vistas. We’ve been prepared to evacuate should the fires get any closer. We’ve watched neighboring communities be forced to evacuate and witnessed a complete town, Paradise, CA, succumb to fires. And not too far south of us, in Redding, CA where my sisters live, I stood watch with them hoping that the Carr Fire would be contained, controlled and put out!

I wrote to my local City Council expressing my concerns. The sale of fireworks has been a profitable fundraiser for a local club. It’s been done this way for awhile–sort of entrenched system that I’m coming up against. Safe and Sane Fireworks, according to the local Fire Chief, have not caused problems…it’s been the illegal ones that cause harm.
Regardless, my bottom line is that fireworks of any type should be banned in forested areas! Does that seem like common sense to you? It does to me. Better foresight than hindsight.

She just knows
© by Christine O’Brien

She looks upon the land and she just knows

That things could be much better than they are.

we day tripping visitors blink and doze

While wise ones see into the future, far.

When hindsight and foresight fall by the way

And the many lessons offered aren’t learned

As media hype says what it may

Through promoting fear, their paychecks are earned.

What else is new across this span of strife?

Humans burying their heads in the sand

We hear past echoes and we join the chime

“we can’t make a difference, one small life.”

Remember, holding hands, we are many.

Infused with earth love, we are not puny.

Forest

A Scene

Landscape drawing and painting is a whole other territory, no pun intended. It is one area where I’ve only started to scratch the surface of what there is to know and put into practice. There I was, on the McCloud River one sunny day. The elephant ear plants, the rocks crowding the scene, the greenish color of the water–how on earth does an artist begin to capture this?

In a sense, making art is all about impression. What is the feeling I get when I see this sight in nature? How do I want to show a river, contained yet in motion? So I play…with form, light, shadow, image, movement, whimsy. And while it looks nothing like the original setting, it has an energy about it that I appreciate.

I framed this painting and it sat in a gift shop for at least one year. Then, they gave it back to me as it hadn’t sold. I stashed it…until a couple of months ago.

But WAIT! It wasn’t done!

It went from this…to this. I named her River Goddess. When I put this piece in a members only art exhibit at a local gallery, it sold within one week! I knew that she would sell. A man, a lawyer, who’d never visited the gallery before purchased the painting. He was on a tour of the gallery with his rotary club.

Any artist’s journey with a painting is a distinct experience. It is a tender relationship. Something unique is brought forth through you. It’s an honor to share in the creative process. I really do believe that it’s accessible to everyone.

What are your thoughts…how do you invoke your creativity?

Possible, Impossible

I revived this poem from two years ago because it feels even more relevant today!

Possible, impossible, a constant weave
Do we have control over where we go?
When the powers that be cause us to grieve,
Can we grab the reins, redirect the flow?

When so-called leaders don’t know how to lead
When ambassadorship, isn’t their forte
Why do we entrust what we hold sacred
to those who lead us to certain “muerte“?

Resources are finite, global warming, fact
Denial has been a way of life too long
We are coming up against our earth’s lack
How can she provide when we ignore her song?

This regime cannot withstand the earth’s dream
She will have her way as they sit and scheme.

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Why is there a battle between humankind and nature? Didn’t we arise from nature and doesn’t nature include us as some wise persons have noted? When do we decide to heed the warnings and begin to turn things around?

Project Drawdown is a ray of hope today. Have you heard of it? Following is a short clip that gives a glimpse into the possible. What’s impossible is the direction we’ve been going.

The following clip is about 1-1/2 minutes long. Paul Hawkens is the speaker.

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Here’s my invitation to you.

Make yourself a cup of your favorite tea.
Have a pen and pad handy.
Google “YouTube video of Project Drawdown” or Paul Hawken (he is one of the spokespersons for this project).
There are several videos of varying length.
Choose one.
Listen deeply and take notes.
Is there anything that connects with you?
Is there anything that is spoken that arouses your concern, interest or passion?
Consider learning more about it.
Begin talking to others about it.
Is there the possibility of forming a circle with others with similar concerns?
Is there an immediate action that you want to take? A group action?

I believe that it’s possible to change a direction if we act soon.

She Stewards the Earth

SheStewardstheEarth.2

Do you upcycle your art? Valuing her face, her direct look, her expression, I wanted to utilize her in a new painting. This then became a mixed media piece. I collaged her face, painted her dress with an earthy color and added symbols. I did some texturing on the canvas prior to drawing and painting the buffalo. I also used some “resist” to have the underpainting show through.

All of this to symbolize White Buffalo Calf Woman.

There are many tellings of this story. Here is one. (It’s one-and-a-half minutes long.)

I titled this piece “She Stewards the Earth,”
because I believe that women have a deep
connection to the earth. That in some ways,
we are more deeply aligned with the earth
than men. That perhaps we are an avenue of
communication between humankind and the earth.
I feel that our bodies are sensors to the disharmony
that the earth is experiencing due to our misuse.

What do you think?

She Who Knows

SheWhoKnows.

There is the tale that is told so well by Clarissa Pinkola Estes in her world-renowned book, Women Who Run with the Wolves. When I first encountered this book, I was in an independent bookstore, The East West Bookshop, down the Peninsula in the San Francisco Bay Area. I opened the book randomly and read a passage that was relevant to an experience that I recently had. The hardbound book wasn’t in my budget. I replaced it on the display table and walked away. Then, after browsing for awhile, I was drawn back to the book. Again, I randomly opened it and voila, another passage that claimed me. I bought the book. Every weekend, I’d read a chapter and integrate what I was discovering. This book felt like a woman’s bible to me. The mythology and tales that were woven in with a Jungian interpretation touched me deeply. These tales, passed down from generation to generation, transported me into my own psyche in a way that had never happened before.

La Que Sabe, She Who Knows, was one of those stories. The story goes…

“In the Southwest the archetype of the old woman can also be apprehended as old La Que Sabe, The One Who Knows. I first came to understand La Que Sabe when I lived in the Sangre de Cristo mountains in New Mexico, under the heart of Lobo Peak. An old witch from Ranchos told me that La Que Sabe knew everything about women, that La Que Sabe had created women from a wrinkle on the sole of her divine foot: This is why women are knowing creatures; they are made, in essence, of the skin of the sole, which feels everything. This idea that the skin of the foot is sentient had the ring of a truth, for an acculturated Kiché tribeswoman once told me that she’d worn her first pair of shoes when she was twenty years old and was still not used to walking con los ojos vendados, with blindfolds on her feet.”
(excerpt from Clarissa Pinkola Estes)

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When I created this mixed media painting, I had no idea who or what was going to emerge. But then, she did. This painting is not about perfection of features…it became about expression of a deep feeling…the woman who has searched inside and encountered her own depths in search of her place in the world. She does not feign timidity. Pretense doesn’t work for her. She decorates herself. She is radiant and is comfortable with being in her own power. She is not apologetic for being this powerful.

She has lived her life and learned from it. She is present with you and deep seeing into human foibles and their underlying strengths. She understands that wisdom is there for each one of us. And, she holds patient compassion for herself and others as we sense into our own deep knowing.