It’s one month past the year mark of my sister, Kathy’s passing.
Kathryn Jane O’Brien, November 17, 1955 -December 19, 2018.
Over the past several years, I have witnessed my sister, Kathryn, up close as she continued her battle with cancer. I have seen the qualities of courage, strength and love personified through her. Love being the constant force.
Selfishly, I did not want her to leave. Finally, with love, I coached her to leave. As did other siblings. She fought the long hard fight with great dignity and respect for herself and others.
Once she committed to Hospice care, her capabilities decreased rapidly. Over the past few years, she had been managing increasing pain, wearing a compression sleeve for the lymphedema in her right arm, having her lungs drained weekly, thoracentesis. Her open wound had to be cleaned and bandaged daily. She hardly complained.
A month before she engaged hospice care, she emailed me in the morning to say that she was a “shipwreck.” I told her “I’m coming down.” We spent that afternoon together and a few hours the next day. For the moment, she had regrouped and was going to go continue the fight for her life.
Then, three weeks later, she was done. She called our other sister who lived nearby, Susan. Susan cleared out a room for Kathy in her home. A hospital bed was delivered.
Bandages, swathing, wrapping, weaving
what battle has she returned from, has she?
The wasteland of her body resounding
reflections of an earth in jeopardy.
How does she heal what seems like a riddle?
Which rhyme does she summon, where lies the key?
In such a haystack, is there a needle?
How does she unwind this tangle, does she?
Is there an apology forthcoming?
or a salve of forgiveness to be applied?
Questions in midair, balance beam teetering
spanning a chasm that seems far and wide.
What falling before this Phoenix rises?
resurrection modeled in each sunrise.