“…I Use Both”

“I have a brain and a uterus, and I use both.”

Patricia Schroeder

In these times, and probably throughout time, women are called upon to show that they are more than wind-up dolls who look pretty in a box on a shelf or as foldouts in men’s magazines. And, to prove that they are so much more than a free labor force solely intended to care for a man’s needs and their children’s needs. Also, in my opinion, women are called upon to re-value themselves in whatever capacity that they show up in their lives.

That seems to be at the core…the ways in which we value ourselves, the beliefs that we hold about our value as human beings are central to our forward evolution as women in these times. My mother, through her lived life, believed in her second class status. Her parents, my father, her religion and the world of her era reinforced this belief. That’s nothing new.

In my generation, we found ourselves trying to break out of the well-crafted muzzles and find our voices, singly and collectively. We had to prove that having a monthly cycle didn’t mean that we were less capable at that time of the month. Nor did it make us less wise or under-the-influence of escalating emotions. We had to prove that what we were contributing in the workforce was at least equal to what any man was contributing and that we deserved equal remunerations for it. And that we could advance in the workplace and hold our own. Today, we continue to strive for this. And we’ve discovered that any forward strides that we might have made regarding our rights are not set in stone. What is given can be taken away.

The quote above, “I have a brain and a uterus, and I use both.” makes me consider testosterone-driven men. How does the level of testosterone influence high-powered executives or political leaders? Have there been scientific studies? Should this unharnessed hormonal influence be considered when we vote for our leaders? I haven’t heard that this governing male hormone has even been taken into consideration over the course of history. Men advance in their jobs and we applaud their forward thrust. When we see that in women, there is not necessarily scorn, but it isn’t valued in the same way…because it doesn’t fit within the box where a society continually tries to place women. Men are hormonal most of their lives. With women, our hormones are cyclical.

This last paragraph is written tongue-in-cheek (or not). It’s just so ridiculous not to take the wholeness of our masculine and feminine natures and apply them to the challenges that we have created for ourselves today. A collaborative effort is a way to go…if only we could learn how to effectively collaborate. Matching the driven nature of the masculine with the tempering effect of the feminine. Each one bringing their own genius, wisdom and expertise is where we would ideally be going. A marriage of sorts.

Basically, value yourself, do your best and carry on.

A Few Patterns of Communication

I wonder about this…when you engage in a conversation, do you look for ways to confirm what you already believe to be true or are you truly open to learning something different?  Even while listening to a lecture, I sometimes find within myself a resistance to new information.  Oh no, I might have to shift my hard won beliefs!

Seeking confirmation for what I already consider to be the truth, closes the door to discovering something else.  And if I am confirmed in what I already believe, is there sometimes an air of “evangelism” about me–if I believe that I know the truth, then do I think I have the right or responsibility to force my dogma on someone else?

When I’m in conversation with someone, am I really listening?  Or am I already planning what I’m going to say in response?  Often, our patterns of listening and conversing are so programmed that it’s hard to step out of the box of our behaviors to allow something or someone else in.

Or, have you noticed that sometimes, a conversation is more of a monologue than a dialogue?  I look into my own patterns and see if I’m guilty of stealing the stage and not allowing the other person to get in a word.  Or when a certain friend gives a soliloquy while we’re taking a walk in nature, I sometimes strategically interrupt and request “quiet time.”  This can help to bring awareness to the lopsided nature of the conversation.  And, it allows us to appreciate the beautiful surroundings.

In observing conversational patterns between men and women, I’ve noticed that some men take the role of “I’m the teacher,” while a woman may allow and even encourage that role.  Other times, she tries to contribute her own different but real wisdom, only to find herself disproved by the “dominant male’s absolute surety” about whatever it is they are discussing.  He might raise his voice or show some sign of physical prowess (body language) to emphasize his correctness.  It takes an aware male to help to create a safe atmosphere where true sharing can occur.  Is he able to inquire into her thoughts and ways of being and seeing without overpowering her?   It takes a super conscious male to understand that he may actually learn something from her!

 

Permissive Poetry

An intrinsic premise of poetry is the permission and freedom to TELL THE TRUTH!

When I first began writing poetry, I was in a state of unrest.  Old inner worlds were crumbling as new ones were being born.  What I had built my life structure upon was proving false.  What was trying to form was insubstantial and unknown.

Poetry can chart the course between what is known
and what is unknown.

Do you think this statement is true?  It isn’t the route for everyone, but it certainly has been the permission-giver for me.

In those days, while I might not speak my truth to my husband or father (both of whom inspired fear), I found I could write it (finally) in my journals.  And then, poetry entered my life.  A form that could hold both emotion and unravelling beliefs and the uncertainty of what was next.  Pretty amazing.  And it could do all of this in a succinct way!

Throughout known history, poetry has been the “go to” for sensitive souls.  The minstrels were the storytellers, often in rhyme or rhythm.  The poets were the sensitive touchstones of a particular era and culture.  They could talk about what was right, wrong, intolerable both personally and in the context of the larger society.

Poets and artists are the heart of any culture or era.  They are the sensitive underbelly and resonate with deepest feeling and often, what the culture needs to embody or embrace in order to healthfully evolve.

Writing Prompt:
This is my perception of permissive poetry.  Has poetry, whether you read it or write it yourself, given you permission to tell the truth?

artinaworldinperil