Body, Soul, Psyche, Personality, Huh?

I am a body-oriented woman in that I receive insights and feel experiences through my body. The most recent dramatic example was two years ago when my thirty-eight-year-old daughter had her first (and only) baby. My daughter has a learning challenge. After she gave birth, she needed coaching in nursing her baby. I was with her five days in a row trying to instruct, guide and support her. My own body started reacting to the intimacy and necessity of the circumstances . Everything that happens to a woman when she is a new mother preparing to nurse her baby, started happening in my body. I had gone through menopause a few years before this. So when my breasts became swollen and tender, I thought Oh my God, this is awful! I, of course, left the nursing to my daughter (who soon thereafter opted for bottle-feeding)…but my body was preparing to nurse. I live a long distance away and once I returned home, it took two weeks for my body to return to normal. I perceive things with my whole body not just my head.

Hearing this, Daniel admitted to not being in his body. “If you’re cut off from your feelings, you’re cut off from your body,” he said.

Daniel: I want to say this, not to change your mind. We don’t feel through our bodies. I know you think that you do, but you don’t! Our bodies are primarily vehicles of action. It’s all in our psyche.

Me: Do you think that’s more true of men than women?

Daniel: “No,” he said emphatically. “I think it’s a basic fact.”

I was beginning to doubt myself, my own experience. I ruminated “I don’t know,” I said with some hesitation.

Daniel: We have not so much a personality. People think the personality is in their body…personality is on an etheric plane and the body is a representation of the consciousness of the psyche.

Me: I think personality is the face that you bring into the world to meet other people. It’s the face we show to others. I perceive the psyche as deeper, soulful. I think the experiences of the body influence the psyche. My body has informed me of things.

Daniel called this persona. He’s referring to the Vitvan (his spiritual teacher’s) sense of things.

Words can confound. It is hard to have clarity when we have differing definitions for the same words. How we individually define words, our deeply-held perspectives that are expressed through fallible words, can cloud what one says and how another hears it. And, yes, we can be triggered when there isn’t a meeting of the minds and not even realize it. We hit a wall and it was so noted. Do we stop here or go forward?
Agreeing to disagree?

I won’t be talked out of what I know from my own experience. My own experience is not hearsay or something I’ve read. My own experience is firsthand. And I know that my body gives me information. It tells me when I feel threatened; it has its own wisdom; it shares deep truth with me when I am tuned into it. When I mentioned to three women during a conversation yesterday that Daniel had dismissed the experience of my body as being a reliable source of information, they nearly fell out of their chairs! So, it’s not only me who senses through her body.

Then, Daniel repeats that we’re not in our bodies…”the false premise is that you think you’re in your body…it’s almost like a robot…”Daniel walk across the room, pick up this thing…”

Me: I feel different as a woman. I feel that my body is a guiding force and that it informs me when I listen. Because of my body I feel very connected to the earth. I notice how much that connection nourishes my physical form and all of the other parts of me as well. I could say that everything is ethereal or illusion in some way, but there is a solidness in my connection to the earth.

Suddenly, Daniel gets it. He seems to understand where I’m coming from.

Daniel: Yes, yes this is good stuff…it’s the fact of the World Mother again! Substance. I’m a male–mind, mind is not body per se. You’re going to think along the lines of your intrinsic nature which is the World Mother.

Being the Age that You Are

…and in the times that you live.  Right now, this feels very challenging.  With a pandemic, wildfires  around the earth, worldwide protests arising from ongoing social injustices, political instability, economic crashes, and more!  Who wouldn’t want to escape into the past or a perceived as better future?

How often do I retreat into the past or project into the future in my thoughts?  Often, I’m sure.  I remember thinking that “things would be better when I conquered some aspect of my personality…in the future” or how much more pleasant it is to linger over a rare soft spot in the past.  I do think that sometimes, it is good to recall a moment when I felt powerful in the past, or exceptionally healthy or positive and to draw on that feeling to bring it forward into a challenging time today.  However, idling there isn’t helpful.  And while it’s fine to imagine a better future, now is where the action happens to begin to shift energy.

On my last birthday…I rediscovered magic.  I woke on my birthday feeling unsettled and grumpy.  I felt like cancelling the gathering with three friends.  I had a flexible plan for them to come over around 5:00 p.m., depending on the heat.  We would sit outside, bring our own food and drink, sit socially distant and share carrot cake.  Contemplating cancelling, I thought about the last birthday, a big one, when I was sick.  I thought about how I deserved a party, a celebration of me.  I remembered when I was a girl and had given myself a few birthday parties…because no one else would.  Suddenly, I had the energy to create a special setting for myself and my friends in the backyard.  And the day unfolded from there into a lovely shared experience.


“Let me stand in my age with all its waters flowing round me.
If they sometimes subdue, they must finally upbear me,  for I
seek the universal and that must be the best.”
Margaret Fuller

I didn’t know who Margaret Fuller was.  Do you?  It’s amazing to me how many women of some notoriety in their times have slipped through the cracks of “his…story.”

Margaret Fuller was an American journalist, editor, critic, translator, and women’s rights activist (1810 to 1850).  In a brief forty years, she accomplished quite a bit!  She left behind a lot of her writings including a book entitled Woman in the Nineteenth Century.  I encourage you to google her and read a brief bio of her life.  She was a deep thinker of her times.  Anyone who has gone before (our ancestors) sets the stage for the next ones to enter.


As a girl growing up in San Francisco, an occasional treat was a visit to the San Francisco Zoo.  While I don’t support animals in captivity, I have to admit that while a child, it was an opportunity to see an animal up close that I might otherwise never see.  I remember the giraffe, tall, lanky, that neck that was so long, seemingly fragile yet strong.  I have an image of the giraffe, splayed legs as he stooped to pick up a piece of fruit on the ground.

The giraffe has a very large heart, larger than any other land mammal.  The biological reason could be due to the lengthy map of a giraffe’s body.  I know so little.  However, I have read that the giraffe, though not sanctioned as such, is an endangered species.  This saddens me.

In the wild, a giraffe can live for 25 years.  In captivity, it varies.



I honestly don’t know why this giraffe is blue.  Perhaps that was the color on my brush at the time and I didn’t want to waste it.  So onto the canvas
it went.  What frequently happens is that I see an image in a work in progress, in this case the giraffe, and I bring it forward.  I create a background for it.

Though not realistic, this giraffe certainly has personality.

In a sense, with this sheltering at home, we have an odd opportunity.  We are experiencing a time that seems outside of time.  For those of who are blessed to have enough and to have our health, we have this sort of break where we can engage our imagination.  How could things be different?  How could things be better?  We are so yearning to return to “normal” whatever that means to you.  Really, was normal so great?  What about our lives and times could be reimagined?  What could be made better?  Not only for some of us, but for all of us?

I read that the Navajo Tribes are facing life and death challenges with the Covid 19 virus.  Most of these people don’t have running water and we know that washing your hands, cleanliness is crucial to preventing the spread of the virus.  I’ve read that the federal government has allotted some monies to help them but the Tribe can’t access the monies due to bureaucracy.  Really!  In a time of emergency direct assistance is blocked!

Can we imagine this scenario a lot better?  Shouldn’t every household in the US have running water, at the very least?

On the altruistic side, 21 medical personnel from UCSF in San Francisco have traveled to the Navajo Nations to give medical support  through its Department of Medicine’s Health, Equity, Action and Leadership initiative.  Doctors, nurses and other health care workers in the two-year fellowship assist with health care needs in rural and disadvantaged communities around the world.  Thank you.

Alright, I step off the soapbox (for now)…but this has brought up something I feel passionate about.  What are you feeling passionate about as you shelter in place?  How can you reimagine it better?

A sweet video clip of this beautiful animal.