Butterfly Dreams

In 2017, for the first time, I signed up for a one year course, Paint Your Heart and Soul, facilitated by fine artist, Olga Furman. She gathered several amazing artists together. Each artist supplied one or two lessons over the course of the year. A new lesson was delivered on a weekly basis. This was an opportunity to encounter other artists, to learn their techniques and to practice. This year-long course encouraged the ongoing flow of creativity.

This particular class was taught by Olga Furman, herself. It became one of my favorites. One that I returned to again and then morphed into my own works of art.

butterflydream1

There is some collage work in this piece and more practice in drawing and painting a face.

What is interesting about collage is that you use it with discretion. You also embellish it to make it more your own and to integrate it into the whole painting.

Since butterfly is about transformation, metamorphosis, it holds special meaning for many. Especially in these times when change feels imminent. There are the changes that are forced upon us and the changes we choose. We’ve all heard “The only constant is change.” Realizing this, we typically resist anyway. Resistance seems to be built into change. I do wonder if there is a stage where the butterfly-to-be in the chrysalis resists this transformation. Did it dream of itself as a butterfly before it emerged as one?

This 8″x10″ painting was sold in a local art gallery. I found myself missing her. I remember someone saying once “Never let go of anything sooner than you are ready…” Of course, I can get over it. But there is a bit of nostalgia over her, my first butterfly fairy.

Ethereal Butterfly

For me and others, butterflies are a symbol of both hope and transformation. At this time, perhaps we are being invited to transform something in ourselves that hasn’t been working for a very long time. This is such an individual thing but it can make a collective difference.

One thing that I learned about the butterfly a few years ago. The butterfly can remain in the cocoon and won’t emerge until the conditions are right. So the butterfly stays in a state of suspension for an indeterminate period of time. My daughter had a direct experience of this. She had moved, for one reason or another, to several apartments over the course of a few years. Each time she unpacked, she placed a little cocoon that she’d been carrying with her on the mantelpiece. One morning, she got up and above the mantelpiece was a beautiful, fully formed swallowtail butterfly–the cocoon broken open.

According to Jeremy Hemberger, “Most butterflies and moths stay inside of their chrysalis or cocoon for between five to 21 days. If they’re in really harsh places like deserts, some will stay in there for up to three years waiting for rain or good conditions. The environment needs to be ideal for them to come out, feed on plants and lay eggs.”

butterfly1

This painting evolved from an online class. Sometimes, you have an intention for your painting…I want to paint a butterfly. Then the unfolding happens. In that single moment in time, that butterfly painting expresses something inside of me that wants to be seen by me…and perhaps recognized by another.

It seems that right now we are asked to be in a holding pattern. We are living then in a suspended state…this isn’t easy, is it? We are so action-oriented, busy, busy. And now, we wait until conditions are right before we emerge once again.

What can you do for yourself to foster those right conditions?

Your Own Butterfly

On an 8×10″ piece of watercolor paper (140 lb. weight), drip and spray acrylic inks or dab paints to cover the paper (what you paint on is called your substrate). Choose either cool colors or warm colors for this first layer. Some cool colors are blue, green and purple and the warm colors are yellow, red and orange. Let the first layer dry and then come back in with the opposite colors to make designs of your choice. Let that layer dry. Finally, add dabs of white in strategic places across the substrate. Once that is dry, draw a butterfly shape in the center. You can use white charcoal or white colored pencil to draw the outline of the butterfly. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Don’t forget the body in the center.

Choose a favorite color and paint the background around the butterfly shape. You can let some of the background peek through outside of the butterfly. You can use a more transparent paint so that the under layers are visible yet don’t compete with the central butterfly. Look at an image of a butterfly noting the symmetry on each side. Design your butterfly. You can use markers for this. Don’t strive for perfection. Get lost in the creative process. Your butterfly is unique to you.

Unintentional Creativity

In a way, I think of Intentional Creativity as a more logical (or masculine) approach to directing your creativity. The artist affects the process by choosing an intention. The intention propels the creative expression in a mindful way “to support growth and healing.” In other words, the artist “creates around their intention.”

Of equal value is unintentional creativity which I consider a “feminine” or intuitive approach to initiating making art. Making random marks on a fresh canvas, dripping or swiping colors over the canvas, paint doodling, intuitively choosing colors, layering, etc. could seem to be “going nowhere.” However, what I’ve found is that this is an opportunity for the deeper psyche to express itself. As I get to a certain stage in this free play process, I might begin to see shapes, images rising to the surface of my awareness. Some of them I bring forth, others retreat into the background. Some I paint or collage over, others I refine.

This is my preference for now. That said, I notice that once I paint the “I don’t know where this is going random marks,” I get to the place of crafting a painting. Then my marks become more intentional as I bring a piece into its final form. I can’t say that I have chosen a specific intention for the painting even at this point. I’m allowing the piece to show and tell me what wants to be revealed.

Truly, both styles of painting overlap and weave through any process. However, when I try to “force” my painting to go a certain way, I find that I can be blocked. Any piece has a sort of self-determination.

I painted the piece below to Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker. For me, painting this felt like a wild ride that intensified as I went. Painting is an energetic process. There is the possibility of transformation both of the canvas and one’s own emotional state.

Tchaikovsky.2019

“Creativity is not Comfortable”

Awhile ago, I jotted down this quote from Billy Wilder, “an Austro-Hungarian born American filmmaker, screenwriter, producer, artist, and journalist….” He is long gone from this earth plane…however, as you know, quotes live on.

Creative beings who’ve been practicing their art, know this quote–“Creativity is not comfortable”–in a deeply experiential way. They understand the edges, precipices, walls; the angst, internal subterfuge and the pushing through. They understand the daring and the doing despite doubts, fears and/or internal or external pressure to halt!

Why is creating so uncomfortable? I think it is partly because when you are fully in the creative process, you, yourself go through changes as you create.

TRANSFORMATION could be a synonym for creativity.

Webster’s Dictionary, in defining transformation says “…to change a thing into a different thing. Transform implies a major change in form, nature, or function…”

mandala.2017ITS

On the canvas, I resist because things are going to be disrupted and perhaps even “ugly” for awhile. If I am attached to what is on the canvas, it’s going to be hard to let it go. When I’m backed into a creative corner, I have to make a move that can feel forced upon me in some way. There is a risk as I leave my comfort zone and engage the unknown. This whole process brings to my awareness the stuck places inside of me, the resistance and lack of daring. It’s complex, right?

Ultimately, I love my creations, whether poetry, prose, painting or crafting. And I often surprise myself with what comes.

Writing Prompt:
Do you prefer your “comfort zone” when it comes to writing or making art? Or do you enjoy the adventure beyond comfort? When you venture past the borders of the familiar, do you experience doubt as to whether or not you can create something that is “successful”? Is that a fair requirement of yourself as you are in this process? And, do you care about what others are going to think? Do you make that more important than staying true to your artist’s journey?

Write your answers to these questions in your writer’s journal. Be truthful with yourself.